ADRIENNE
I was a fortunate child.
Raised by two parents who were genuinely in love with each other, it was normal for me to see them laugh, hug and kiss each other all the time. To be clear, they weren’t inappropriately demonstrative in front of me, but they were tastefully affectionate and everyone could see that they truly enjoyed each other’s company and definitely were in love with each other. They were best friends until the day my father died and watching their interaction with each other deeply influenced me. It’s probably why I’ve loved little boys ever since I can remember. I wanted a boy to love me just like my father loved my mother.
I know… it was a complete setup for failure. Let me give you an example.
In Kindergarten, I befriended a boy named Brad Hines. He was the funniest kid in school who always wore a super cool Mickey Mouse ringer t-shirt and had chewy fruit snacks in his lunchbox. He often traded me his fruit chews for my red delicious apples, and I knew it had to be because he liked me. Why else would anyone want an apple instead of those yummy candy-like fruit chews?
It had to be love.
But if it was love, it confused me.
Brad would sit next to me on the class carpet squares during music class but never played with me during recess. We traded our snacks during lunch period, but he never ate lunch with me. He cheered me on when we played organized games like Duck, Duck Goose, but he never picked me to be the Goose. Why wouldn’t he pick me? It made little sense to my five-year-old brain.
This confusing relationship of ours went on until the end of third grade, when he and his family unceremoniously moved away from New York. They gave the students in the class no heads up about it; so instead I showed up for the first day of fourth grade in my brand new green dress and Brad wasn’t there. That would be the anticlimactic end of our friendship.
It wouldn’t be until years later that I’d realize how significant the nature of that childhood crush impacted me. As I matured, I realized that Brad only saw me like any other kid in school. I was a classroom friend. That’s it. It was me who completely romanticized the relationship because I desperately wanted to mimic what I grew up seeing.
But by this time, the damage was done.
The hurt I felt by his “rejection” of me would take root and become the foundation for all of my relationships with boys and eventually men.
I wanted them to love me, but their actions confused me. I wanted one to be my best friend, yet I didn’t know how to effectively communicate with them. And most of all, I expected a man to share his deepest secrets with me, yet I didn’t trust them.
Each relationship failure battered my self-esteem, and so I sought to bolster it with hard work and dedication in other areas of my life. I studied hard, played very little, worked out excessively and slept the bare minimum. Even with all of my professional success though, there was one thing that continued to elude me.
Love.
But all of that was about to change.
The moment I met him.
Ready To Find Out What Happens Next?
DOWNLOAD JETT NOW
